Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
