So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
