remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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