i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
