I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
In America we eat man semen.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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