I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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