Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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