i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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