As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
