I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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