Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
