Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
