I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
