You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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