Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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