if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
