everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
