A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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