If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
