I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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