You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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