It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This toilet bowl is my home.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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