ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
