so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
