she looked like the bat from fern gully.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
