Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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