so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
