Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
