I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
