the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No stitches, just platelets and will power
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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