Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
