Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
