Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
