If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
