seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
