Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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