sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
