Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
