It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
