Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize