Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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