what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
