Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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