i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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