If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He did a backflip because drugs
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
