covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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