Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
how does that bad decision feel?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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