how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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