I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
