I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
