i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
