if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
