No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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