so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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