My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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