girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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