im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
