Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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