Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize