He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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