marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
