Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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