i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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