Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
