I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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