he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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