its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
