Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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