As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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