We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
