Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
