Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
