Those balls look pretty dangerous.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
