Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
