I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
